Where Do I Go When Painting? ~. by Maria Moldovan

10 o'clock in the morning. I am sitting in my studio. Clay on my table and I start a new sculpture. I will take it slowly, I put some music on in the background very quietly and call my mom. We talk about everything, weather, food, books, childhood. It sooths me, keeps me connected with my memories, my culture, my heritage. And in the meantime my fingers know where to go, where to push, where to carve the clay. When to use the soft sponge and when to use the sharp knife.

An other morning. An other room. An other start. Painting this time. I put some music on very quietly and thinking to call my mom but something stops me. Just by thinking about having a conversation with someone makes me disconnected from my canvas. I can't talk. Not to my mom, not to my son, not to my loved ones. I need quiet, I need to stay isolated, all alone by myself. I need to calm down. I spend long periods of time just sitting and transferring myself somewhere else, somewhere between physical and spiritual. The process of painting is so similar to meditation for me. And it has to happen in similar environment like meditation. There is no room for talking, for chatting. And my mom knows. She knows when I paint I will be gone somewhere distant and quiet and she always waits for the glimpses I bring back from there on my canvases.

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